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Virginia Satir Biography -

Virginia started graduate school in the summer of 1937 at Northwestern University in Chicago and married Gordon Rodgers in December, 1941. She described the marriage as a romantic war marriage. They met at the train station when Gordon was a young soldier on leave, and they were together only a few months before he went back to the war. Early in the marriage, Virginia had an entopic pregnancy that resulted in a hysterectomy. While her husband was away at the war, Virginia pursued her studies, finishing the coursework for her master’s degree at the University of Chicago in 1943 and, in 1948, her thesis. Also at this time, Virginia began working with two young women, Mary and Ruth, whom she later adopted.

According to Virginia, when Gordon returned from the war, he and Virginia both discovered that they had grown too far apart to resume a healthy marriage. They divorced in 1949. Virginia’s second marriage, to Norman Satir, lasted from 1951 to 1957. It was during this second marriage that Virginia adopted Mary and Ruth as adults. Though her reasons for adopting them remain somewhat unclear, we can speculate that it was partly out of compassion and partly because Virginia could not have children of her own. Another factor may also have been an effort to save her marriage to Norman. The dedication of Virginia’s book The New People Making (1988) honors her adopted daughters: "To my daughters, Mary & Ruth and their children Tina, Barry, Angela, Scott, Julie, John, and Michael, who helped to texture me."

It may be difficult to understand why someone so successful in helping others with their own relationships did not find herself in a life-long partnership. Virginia’s own words should suffice to explain her marriages and divorces:

Had I known back then what I know today, we would have had a lot of different things happening. But I didn’t know. You always look back with hindsight, and hindsight is wonderful for writing Ph.D. papers, but not very good for life. (King 37)

 

I have often thought had there been somebody like me around, something might have been able to be done. I also think I don’t see how I could have done what I’ve done in the world had I been married. And when I decided because I’ve been on the verge of marriage many times I said no, because if I wanted to roam the globe like I did, it wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t be fair to me, it wouldn’t be fair to the people. At the point, I really feel it was a kind of destiny because I’ve been able to get to places. There are some people in the world who have other jobs to do. (Blitzer 39)

Continues on:

Snap Shots of Virginia

Family of Origin

Education

Teaching Career

Marriage & Children

Graduate School

Virginia's Career in Therapy

Virginia's Philosophy

The Pioneer

Illness & Death

The Legacy

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